Actual Personal Ads Taken From Israeli Newspapers

A friend sent me these. Enjoy!
(I can't vouch for their validity, but they're funny anyway).

>>Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my behind.
Looking for American-born woman who speaks English very good.

>>Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles, Chanuka
candles, havdalah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker. POB 787

>>Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar, exorcism of
dybbuks, seeks mensch. No weirdos, please. POB 56

>>Staunch Jewish feminist, wears tzitzis, seeking male who will
accept my independence, although you probably will not. Oh, just
forget it.POB 435

>>Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in
woman. POB 43

>> Worried about in-law meddling!? I'm an orphan! Write. POB 74

>> Sincere rabbinical student, 27. Enjoys Yom Kippur, Tisha B'av,
Taanis Esther, Tzom Gedaliah, Asarah B'Teves, Shiva Asar B'Tammuz. Seeks
companion for living life in the "fast" lane. POB 90

>> Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shul with, light
shabbos candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together, attend
brisses, bar mitzvahs. Religion not important. POB 658

>> Couch potato latke, in search of the right applesauce. Let's try
it for eight days. Who knows? POB 43.

>> Shul Gabbai, 36. I take out the Torah Saturday morning. Would
like to take you out Saturday night. Please write. POB 81